I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
