i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
