Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
