dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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