i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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