I like to think it a success when the cops are called
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
