yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
