I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize