kristin has been a bad kristin
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
