Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
