I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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