Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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