put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
smell my finger.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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