She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
