Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
