i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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