I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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