Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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