i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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