Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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