Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
