that's an acceptable place to lick
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
