tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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