You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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