make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
