I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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