hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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