Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The Olympian is in my bed
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
