I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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