no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
