It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
