the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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