i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
