I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
