we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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