guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
