thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
