i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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