I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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