she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
