I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
