Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
