I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
