but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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