You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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