Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
