love makes seman taste better
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i will never coherently bang her
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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