4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
