No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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