D3 body, D1 cock
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
