Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
