Rock
Scissors
Fuck
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
