is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
