I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
