I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
