Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
